*This tongue-in-cheek guest post is brought to you by personalized mugs.
Both of my parents have always been anomalies to the rest of my family as the unceremonious and practical pair of our clans. We would never eat food that didn’t have the optimal cooking time to fit around the days’ activities, all the clothes I was bought were picked for their hardiness and durability, but, worst of all, there were no photos of me in the house. Not even one.
I assume the last point was because I lived in the house, so, in their eyes, they could see me whenever they wanted and didn’t need to clutter up their walls and windowsills with school and/or baby photos. The practical reasons are definitely there, but I won’t lie, the result is me having a complete complex about no one wanting photos of me in their house. If I don’t see my cheesy grin in the foreground of those awful mottled-blue backgrounds that photographers use, I will assume that they hate me and that they no longer consider me family. There’s a Philip Larkin poem about what I’m thinking, but I won’t write it here.
My no-photo complex may sound trivial, but it’s actually quite inhibiting. When visiting relatives, I’m so preoccupied with finding snaps of myself that I forget to ask them to make me a cup of tea, so, not ten minutes into conversation I’m parched- quite a terrible situation, I think you’ll agree- and want to leave. What’s worse is that the only thing I’ve had time to discuss in ten minutes is the fact that my Grandma has already asked how work is going three times.
Rather than calling my parents out on this ailment, I have found my own solution. In the few years I have spend as an adult in my own flat, I have aspired to add my photo to almost every piece of furniture and appliance that I own. Thus, sating my eternal need for the photos my parents could not provide. So far I have photo bed sheets, photo mugs, photo plates, photo t-shirt (one so far, but I’m working on expansion) and a photo bowl for my dog, Bowser.
There are several issues with this need for photos everywhere, I’m aware of that, but I hope you can understand…
In case you are unnerved by the tea reference, this post was written by a Brit, who happens to exaggerate things sometimes.