*This is a sponsored post. All thoughts are my own.*
Since I became a mother, my entire world has changed. I put my kids before myself, and instead of being afraid of dying young, my biggest fear is now not being able to protect my boys. As a mom, I just want to keep them safe. I want to protect them from being emotionally and physically hurt. I think most parents can understand this completely.
So imagine for a moment that you are a mom whose child dies in a tragic way from mental illness. Imagine learning that your daughter committed suicide and died through their own hands intentionally?
What would that do to you?
How would that affect the rest of your family?
Why Did She Jump? is a recently released a memoir from Joan E. Childs This author, women’s issues expert and acclaimed psychologist, shares her experience with her daughter’s tragic death and issues with bipolar.
Hope, courage, love, and the power of forgiveness – there isn’t a mother out there who won’t experience those feelings during a turning point in her life.
About Why Did She Jump?
Why Did She Jump? is an intimate, uncompromising delve into one mother’s search for peace amid the chaos surrounding her daughter’s tragic death, and a masterful recounting of the events leading up to the fateful day, lifting the veil of shame and secrecy to forge a path to understand bipolar disorder and other mental illnesses.
With searing honesty and reflective insights as a mother and a professional, Joan Childs chronicles how she rose above the quagmire of grief that almost consumed her, and how she mended her broken family and her broken heart. By revealing how she learned to forgive herself and her daughter and finally let go, Childs offers a rallying cry of support for anyone going through a similar struggle. Why Did She Jump? is a cathartic read for anyone who has ever loved or lost deeply, proving that the most brilliant lights in our lives can never be dimmed.
BUY IT:
The powerful book has a list price of $14.95 and is now available in book stores and online, including Barnes and Noble and Amazon.
WIN IT:
How would you like to be relaxed and inspired? For book-loving moms who need a good read (and a good cry) to inspire them through hard times, Joan E. Childs wants you to have a copy of Why Did She Jump? along with a $25 Starbucks gift card to help you relax and a journal to record your own thoughts.
Jeanna says
Just be there. That’s what I try to do.
Samantha Lawson says
Letting them know that you’re always there for them whether it be to listen, be a shoulder to cry on or just someone to just be with them. Also telling them that there’s no ONE way to grieve and that they can take however long they need.
Amy Orvin says
I just listen and try to encourage the best way I can.
Stephanie Phelps says
My way to comfort is just be a shoulder to lean on and to make the rest of their lives as easy as possible!
Nancy says
This is a difficult question. I guess, I’d say to be available to do whatever your friend needs. To talk together or to be silent, to do chores or to do nothing, to go out for a walk or to stay at home.
Elena says
Talk to them, be there for them when they need you
Deborah says
All I can say is just be there.
Janet W. says
My tip is to be there for them, to listen, and if they need anything like food, groceries, etc be willing to help with whatever.
Patti Hess says
I am there letting them know if they want to talk I’m there to listen. I send out “Thinking of you” cards or encouragement cards. If possible I go to visit
pattifritz2000 at yahoo dot com
thank you
KV says
Talk to them and listen.
Mary Beth Elderton says
Listen. Let her talk through what she is going through and how she feels. Just listen.
Mary Happymommy says
Offer to cook meals.
latanya says
Just being there for them and praying together
Marci says
Sometimes words aren’t enough. A hug can go a long ways.
Kim Henrichs says
Basically just being there – providing food, letting them know you’re there to listen is the best. I prefer that rather than offering too much to say or too much advice, because some people don’t want to hear it when grieving. It’s best I think to just let them know that you are there for them day or night and encourage them to call or knock on the door whenever.
Maria Malaveci says
Just being there as a friend if they need me to talk to….or having a shoulder to cry on, and arms to give hugs to.
Kim Pollock says
Just have to listen and love them for who they are!
Rita M says
Be there for them in the aftermath of services & visitors – they will get plenty of those at first. I sometimes think the most difficult time is after everyone is gone… that’s the time when you might be needed for a helping hand or an ear to listen.
Jessie C. says
Be there, be a listener.
Amanda Sakovitz says
just be there for them and listen
BusyWorkingMama says
I am fortunate in that I’ve never had to go through this or know of a friend who has had to face such an issue. My advice would be to find a support group.
sandra says
I don’t know what i’d do in that situation
April V says
My biggest tip is to just LISTEN. Lending an ear & just being there is all that is sometimes needed.
nicole says
I honestly don’t know what I would do. I would seek comfort in my faith in God and pray every day that the sorrow be taken away.
Elizabeth P. says
I’ve never gone through this (yet) but I would imagine I would provide all the support they needed whether it be to listen, provide meals, etc.
patricia says
It really depends on the friend and the circumstances of the loss. i definitely would attend the burial services & offer to help them out with domestic duties.
D Schmidt says
My best tip is just letting them know you are there for them without invading the space they need.
Cynthia R says
You let them know youa re there but also need to remember to give them some space, drop some food off, give them a hug, but don’t crowd them.
Candice says
I will try to make sure they know it is important to relax, and be understanding whenever they needed to talk.
Thomas Murphy says
Be there for them and listen if they want to talk.
Brandy (Lynn W) says
Just show up. They may say they don’t want company, but they really need it. I lost my firstborn son… someone very close to me. People showed up. It meant so much.
Jackie says
My tip: Be there to listen to them when they need to talk.
Maressa says
To be by there side and to be good listener
Kristen says
Just make yourself available and remember it’s OK to mention the person! Sometimes people try to avoid the subject when people want to know the person is remembered.
JLin says
hug
Geoff K says
I try to avoid offering trite words of solace and instead just let my loved one know I am there for them whenever they’re ready to talk (or not talk) and need company. I also try to make small kind gestures like leaving small gifts for them, such as a sweet treat I know they like or a DVD of a favorite film, to help give them a small amount of distraction and comfort during the grieving process.
shaunie says
Just support. Continuing to support them and encourage them to be surrounded by positive and uplift people.
tracy simms says
making sure they know that someone will always be there to help them and keep in constant touch with them!!
Jenny says
I think just being there, letting them know you are thinking of them and there to listen, or to help out.
rachel says
Prayer and love — what else can you do!
Ally Clendineng says
My best advice is to be with the person, and deeply listen– whether they need to sit with the silence or to talk out their emotions, the simple act of being with someone in pain without any pressure for them to talk or act before they’re ready… it means a lot.
Debra Hall says
just be a good friend and dont ask questions
Kris I. says
I just try to be there for them; any way that helps, for example, just to listen, or help them with dinner.
Michelle C says
After losing a couple of close loved ones, I found that what was most needed and helpful for me was just knowing people cared and that there was someone to listen when I felt like talking. Now I just try to let people know that I am available to listen.
christine m says
Just be there to listen to them.
kj skib says
I let them lead the conversation and only bring up what they want to talk about.
ioana c. says
I am very bad at this , i never know what to say! I will do anything i can to help ,but just never know what to say!
Christy Anderson says
Be there for them and listen.
Barbara Montag says
I think it’s most important to listen when a friend is grieving a loss.
thank you
shelly peterson says
Just let them know you are there for them even just to listen and not be too over bearing.
soha molina says
I usually don;t know what to say/. I just let them know I am there for them.
Amanda Alvarado says
My advice after being there is to just be there and really be there just to listen. Offer hugs and a shoulder to cry on if needed but stay away from the cliches and the it will get better (unless you have actually lost a child too).
Seyma Shabbir says
Keeping them busy. It helps to not have too much free time.
Samantha C. says
I find that the best thing you can do for someone is to just listen. Be there for them and hear them out without offering advice sometimes is the best thing.
Ann says
Besides being a friend and listening ear, help with some of the mundane every day tasks that are so hard when you are grieving… grocery shopping, laundry, going to the post office, etc.
Amy Pratt says
I say I’m so sorry but never try to convince them I know how they feel. I don’t. No one does.
Angela P says
It is more important to be there and listen than say anything. I try to make gestures. Spend time together and always let my friends no they can vent to me and it is a no judge zone!
Betsy says
being there to listen
Rachel C says
Just be there so they aren’t lonely.
April Brenay says
every day that goes by it gets just a bit easier and always think about the joy of that person
Terra Heck says
Let them talk to you. Just being a listening ear is helpful. Don’t ignore them during their time of need.
Thanks.
partymix25(at)hotmail(dot)com
Michelle Weaver says
I just spend time with them and let them talk or not talk if they need to.
Carmen Van Deursen says
Listening! Don’t have to say anything just listen!
courtney b says
dont talk about it a lot just be friendly and there for them if they need something!
Jordan says
I tell them to stay in faith and let me know if I can help in any way.
Blessie Nelson says
Giving them space and time to grieve and heal.
Tamar says
I make myself available anytime of day for them.
So sorry she had to write this.
Melissa Stone says
Give them their space when they are ready to talk they will
Robin O says
I don’t know any sure-fire comforting words, but it is definitely important to just be there and to listen and to give hugs.
Natalie F says
I think when someone experiences a loss, not much will comfort them. I just tell them, “I’m so sorry, I will be keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.” I never say insensitive things like, “It was God’s will.” Or “It’s time to move on.”
And I give them time to grieve but also after about a week, I start inviting them places.
Em Mahr says
My personal tips are to give lots of hugs and support. Just listening and being there for them can do a lot towards comforting.
Sarah says
An invitation for a cup of coffee or a drink to get out and unwind for a bit.
Monique Rizzo says
Bring them a nice casserole to warm up and sit and have a cup of coffee…let them talk and just listen.
ColleenMarie says
NO to over talk, just be there to listen.
Katherine says
Best thing is just to listen and later on don’t forget when they think everyone has
brittany says
my tip is to try your best to be there when you can and let them know you care about them and love them. I have a hard time with this myself. One of my really good friends lost her baby before he even turned one. He had heart problems and its hard for me to know what to say to her because I have two healthy babies and I feel bad if I talk to her about my kids and all. Its hard just have to be there for them.
Nannypanpan says
Keep in touch often, so they know you are there if they need you
Tracy Robertson says
That’s a difficult one! I try to keep in mind that they are still hurting long after the initial influx of sympathy that they get from a lot of people, and to still be there months later to try to get them out and take their minds off of things as much as possible.
C.j. says
I give them their space and then call them to see how they are feeling. Or take the kids out to the park or for some ice cream when they are feeling up to it
Lizzie S says
I think it’s OK to not feel the need to come up with answers, but to just be there for them and with them during that time.
Terri S. says
I express how sorry I am and let them know I am there for them if they want to talk or need anything.
Janice Crespo says
Just be there for them. What I do depends on each person – some want peace and quiet and I make sure they have food – some want to talk and I listen – each person is different.
Kimberly Schotz says
Help out where you can. Be there for them
Jennifer says
I often don’t know what to say, other than to let them know that I am there for them.
Leela says
Just be there for them.
Birdiebee says
Be available to listen and let your friend just vent. Also, provide words of empathy.
Birdiebee says
I follow you on Instagram as birdiebee52. I made an error in the rafflecopter.
Tina W says
There is never really a “right” thing to say, but most people really appreciate you just being there. Doing the simple things, like making sure kids get fed, taking out the trash, answering the phone and explaining what has happened for the umpteenth time when they just can’t do it anymore.
More importantly: being there for those awful “firsts”: first holiday, first birthday without them, first anniversary.
amy rouse says
can’t lie, I’m terrible at it so I usually don’t say anything
Eileen Richter says
Dont say you know how they are feeling…no one can. Dont say, time will heal. Dont really say anything. Just say I am so sorry, give them warm and heartfelt hugs and do not ask always if you can do something for them…most people say no, it’s OK. Just DO something nice for them. A thoughtful card at various times of the year when you know they are reminded of loss. Charity given in the person’s name. An impromptu lunch out with the person left behind…impromptu because sometimes lives get to be “playing it by ear”for a while. It’s hard to put on that ‘face’ in public. Keep trying but dont pressure.
Cynthia C says
I think distractions help. I try to spend time with friends that have suffered a loss and try to get them out of the house for lots of activities.
Brei H. says
Just be there for them when they need you, but don’t over do it. Sometimes they just need space and time alone, just be there when they are ready to talk.
lisa says
Listen and be there.
lana says
reminding them that we will meet again in heaven one day
Whitney says
Staying with a friend the first night they might have to stay home alone. Drop in weekly. Not just right after. Plenty of people are around right after. Its the week and weeks after a loss that is hard. The lonliness.
janna johnson says
asking them about good memories they had.
danielle Marie says
in all honesty no. i am terrible with stuff like that.
Heather Johnson says
I tell them how sorry I am and let them know I am there for anything they need. I will help them out as needed and bring them food so they do not have to worry about all of that.
Sarah Hall says
Sometimes there is nothing that can be said so you just hold them in your arms. Always let them know that you’ll be there for anything they need.
Megan Swinney says
That they are more than welcome to stay with me too keep them company and keep them busy and offer alot of hugs!
Tammy Shelton says
My advice is to not hold any emotions in or tears back.
Carolyn says
just be there to listen
Lindsay says
a hug is worth more than a thousand words
Kyl Neusch says
Keeping them busy
Debbie F says
I try to be there for them and listen to them.
Pen says
Bring comfort foods, help out if needed.Listen and give advice only if asked..
Danielle D says
Make sure to just listen to them when they need to talk..
Sadie B. says
We like to take food and run errands.
Sarah L says
Simply being there is a big help.
Thanks for the contest.
joni says
I spend more time with them. Help with whatever is needed.
sheila ressel says
I’m a really good listener so I lend an ear when needed in addition to offering my help in any way possible.
Noreen says
Mostly listen to them
Leigh Anne Borders says
I believe there are a few things you can do. First, pray for them. Second, be there for them anytime of the day or night. Lastly, listen.
gayle gildehaus says
Dont pull away which may be the inclination because you do not know what to say.Just your presence is appreciated.
Jammie says
This is hard, just listen to them, try not to tell them you understand, because noone understands what the friend is dealing with but the friend. Loss of a loved one is so hard, the best advice is just be that shoulder, they will need it.
Seth says
Sometimes it’s best to give them a little space, but doing something fun and active to ease the mind is a good choice.
Mona says
Spend time with them
Mihaela Day says
I make sure they have meals to eat
Jessamine D. says
Let all your feelings out. Don’t let it bottled up inside you.
vera says
I just listen to them.
christine jessamine says
mine is just to offer and give whatever help you can.
Jennifer Reed says
One personal tip that I have found useful for comforting friends after the loss of a loved one is to send a card at the time of loss but to follow up with them weeks and even months later when they are feeling very alone.
Lisa V. says
Just being there and listening when they need it.
Jill Myrick says
When a friend of mine loses a loved one I try to be there as much as possible for them.
Whatever they might need whether it be a shoulder to cry on or just someone to listen.
I also offer to take the children if they have them, cook meals so that they have no worries about that and make a comforting basket for them that might have a warm throw, tea and tea mug, fuzzy socks and some homemade soup. Just something soothing for when i can’t be there to comfort them.
jweezie43[at]gmail[dot]com
Stephanie Galbraith says
Just be there when they need you.
Lee Mckoen says
What ever they want to talk about i am there! And Never compare to what others have gone through, each person grieves their own way!
Susan Smith says
Spend time with them and talk with them.
Brittney House says
Sometimes people just need someone to listen to them.
Erica B. says
Just always being available and preparing a meal for them.
Amanda G. says
Just be willing to listen.
Diana Knust says
I always have an open ear. I’m ready to listen and give encouraging words of advise to whomever is in need. Friend or foe!
Janet Woodling says
Listen, be there, laugh with them, cry with them.
ewhatley says
During all the immediate turmoil, make sure their everyday tasks are done ( house cleaning, laundry, picking up relatives at airport, etc.). Don’t forget that after the first week or so, when everyone has gone back to their lives, be around to listen, cook for them, whatever. Just continue to be a friend.
Ed says
Listen and love.
Xty Cruz says
my advice would be just to support them by listening…
Kate F. says
Help out if they need anything and just listen when they want to talk.
Diana Dora says
Listen to them and help them with anything they need.
Kiara says
I would spend time with them.
Peggy Rydzewski says
I just tell them to grieve the way the have to.
Suzanne h says
I give them time and let them know I’m there when they need it.
Natalie says
My best tip is to tell them simply that you are there for them if they want a listening ear.
Alicia Thibadeau says
Listen to them and be there for them.
Michelle S. says
Be there with whatever they need. Everyone is different and needs something different in their time of loss.
Laurie Emerson says
My best tip is to be a listener and not offer any advice unless asked for. Just holding their hand or hugging them when they need it is sometimes the best thing you can do.
Crystal Sands says
After the loss of a loved one, I try to gives lots of hugs, just to let them know I am there. I am not the greatest in such situations, but I know I love hugs for comfort.
Lisa L says
I let my friends know I’m there for them in case they need to talk or need a shoulder to cry on
Lisa says
Just to be there when they need you and to give them space when they need space.
Kelly D says
My tip is just to listen to them.
trixx says
I send flowers and try to be a good listener
Tammie Venne says
dont be too pushy just let them know you are there if they need anything
Joy says
I encourage them to recall the good memories. And hugs are good. Helping with food or running errands.
Kayla says
Just be there for them with whatever they need.
Danielle says
I make myself available anytime they need to talk and I check on them often to make sure they are doing ok.
ELIZABETH C. says
Just listen to them. I just lost a loved one and it’s helpful just knowing that they are there for you.
Renee G says
Spend time with them and listen.
Steve says
I send flowers and let them know I’m there for them.
Sarah Jestings says
Just to be a good listener whenever they need it weather it is 2 pm or 2 am.
sara wood says
Let them know you care and that you are here for them but also let them have space.
virgil poore says
that is a hard question.i dont think they are anything you can do to make loosing a person any better.console them.help them with anything they need done to hep things go better.other then that i not sure what to do
Denise S says
Offer to help however you can and really be willing to do it.
Linda Lansford says
comforting friends after the loss of a loved one envolves serious listening to their needs.
thischickwins says
start with just letting him/her know you’re there
tina reynolds says
Have time a shoulder and ear ready for them when they need it
Barb Stenby says
I try to keep their spirits positive and share my experiences with them. Letting them talk is very healing, being a good listener is very important
Mallory W says
I try and help them at home, with cleaning and whatever they may need. It’s hard telling anyone you understand and can relate…you just have to show them you are there for them and you are supportive.
Karen Drake says
To be patient and listen.
Kaitlyn Ortega says
I would recommend being there quietly. It is their turn to talk not yours.
Linda G. says
My tip would be to be there to comfort and listen
Betty C says
I just let them know that I’m there if they need anything at all.
Melanie Montgomery says
Just be there to listen. Sometimes just shutting up and letting us cry, vent and say whatever we need to say is the best way to help.
Julie Hawkins says
My tip is let them know you are there for them
Jake B says
B there for them and listen to every word and never give up on them, encourage them the best u can
Elaine Isaacs says
Pray with them, be a shoulder to cry upon, listen and never give up
amanda whitley says
i just think its best to offer your help and give them space if they need it. i bring them by dinner or watch their kids if its someone with kids.
Vicki D. says
Visit with them often. Be their friend. Ask them if there’s anything you can do for them. Get them out of the house, is possible. maybe go out for a cup of coffee.
Kim says
My tip is just be there for them. Call them to say hello, stop by to visit and bring them some dinner.
heather s says
Be a good listener. That is more important than what you say.
kelley wood says
My tip is just to really be there . It is all you can do. My husband ‘s best friend shot himself last summer. I just have been there for him.
Samantha says
I try to take their minds off of it, even if it’s for 5 minutes.
Jacob LaFountaine says
Not smother them. Say I’m there for you and you can contact me whenever you feel like it
Jasmine P says
Take your time to cry and be sad, than after that, get back on the horse!
Angela W says
Offer your time and talk to them whenever they need you
Melanie C says
Honestly, there are a lot of times where nothing you say can make a person feel any better. However i do think it’s important to remind people when they’ve lost someone close to them, that it doesn’t matter what others think/ say or believe, the amount of time you spend morning, is absolutely up to you! There seem to be way too many people out there today that think there are timelines with everything, including the amount of time someone should spend morning.
Bryan E. says
Thanks for the giveaway…offer support & listen.
Katie says
To let them know I’ll be there no matter what
Buddy Garrett says
Give a hug or an arm on the shoulder. Listen to what they have to say. It is more important than what you can say.
heather c says
Let them know you are there! The worst thing to do is try to tell them they’ll get over it or ‘at least’ they are in a better place…or the worst: everything happens for a reason. Please don’t ever do any of those. Grieving is a process. If they need you, be there.
Trisha McKee says
My advice is to simply be there and try to pitch in and take care of some simple chores/errands.
Lily Kwan says
listen and be there for them
Sand says
By being there and just listening. I’m going through a recent loss myself and I truly appreciate everyone who has reached out with love and support.
Thomas Gibson says
By just being there. I keep quiet and talk when asked to speak.
bn100 says
be there for them