Mommy, I’m Scared.
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My 2 1/2 year old Warren is very independent. You will often hear him exclaim “I did it awwwllll myself” and “No, me do it. Me do it!” So it has come as a bit of a shock that recently he has been getting scared. Very scared.
It started as a bone chilling screech a week ago as he came up from the basement stairs. I was only around the corner from him but he saw something looking down the stairs into the basement that scared him so much he scared me as he gripped onto to me for dear life and cried, “I so scared mommy. I so scared. I saw a monster.” I comforted him. Explained it was probably just a shadow and held him as we walked through the basement to inspect. I wish I could say that was the end of it but it wasn’t.
Warren started seeing something in the bathroom as he looked straight ahead into his bedroom. He would scream in terror and crouch behind the vanity if I left the bathroom for even a moment. Now I am must sit on the edge of our tub the entire time he is there. I no longer leave the bedroom door open.
It can happen at any time of the day, no matter if I am in the room or not. He will suddenly scream and immediately search me out. Running to me, terrified and telling me he is so scared. This is not my normally self sufficient child. I am not used to him needing me in this way. While he has always been loving and enjoyed cuddling, he has never been clingy or easily frightened before.
He is my baby and I want to protect him. But I don’t know what I’m protecting him from. I believe he saw a shadow in the basement and that has made him overly sensitive. Whatever he believes he saw down there has put him on high alert everywhere he goes. He got so scared that now he is prone to anything that could look like something is there, is.
I do empathize with him, tell him that I’m here, that he is safe and that monsters aren’t real. They are just pretend. I give him hugs and kisses and then he is seemingly fine and goes back to whatever he was doing.
I know it is important that he learns to cope and so while he was frightened to go to bed, I have not slept in his room with him. (It is oh so tempting.) I don’t want him to become dependent upon me to sleep and start that as a routine. I have however tried to give him tools with which to deal with his fear and will go to him for reassurance whenever he calls for me.
He is currently sleeping with a child’s flashlight with his blankets over his head. He also has his favorite stuffed animals with which to hold for comfort. While it was hard that first night, since then he has expected this and is okay as long as he has his flashlight and animals.
I feel so sad. It breaks my heart to see my baby so afraid. I hope that this is something he will grow out of soon and would love to hear if you have gone through anything similar. Any great ideas or advice?
Hugs. I have to share a quick story and if you believe in ghosts or don’t here it is.
Just a week or 2 ago I was heading to bed with my 2 1/2 yr old. We co-sleep. I turned off the lights and jumped into bed. he sat up and said “who’s that?” and I ask “who?” He says “that man”. (my heart starts raising) there obviously with my sight isn’t anyone there. I say,” where?” He gets adamant and says, “right there?” I jumped up and turned the lights on and asked is he gone and he said “yes”. I left the lights on for another hour that night and then finally turned them off again not saying a word but “goodnight”.
I don’t have any suggestions for you other than if your religious to get some holy water and drop some around the house. Don’t watch Scary movie’s and even sometimes Cailou has some scary parts(the scratchy monster). The next time he says he saw something ask him to describe it. Hopefully this is just a phase your son is going through and sometimes at this age kids do get clingy but I have to say sounds like he did see something only children can see. (some people believe that and some don’t) HUGS. Extra comfort for him is never a bad thing and just think how much closer you two will get.
Emile,
I feel so bad hearing about what your baby is going through.Im happy that your being strong about this and not sleeping with him.It could be so tempting i know.I been having the same problems with my 3yr old with being scared alot but i figured out what happened for him to be so scared.My 15yr old son,his brother,watched a scary movie with him while i wasnt home a few weeks ago.He allowed my baby to watch Chucky,,thats the movie about the killer doll. I was so upset when i found out,but anyways,im wondering if its possible that your son saw something on t.v?Now a days,commercials even show scary previews of movies.Its sickning.
I hope it all works out for your son,your doing good with the whole situation by giving him hugs and assuring him everything will be ok.
Have a good day and let us know how it all turns out!
Shannon F
shannpf1977 at yahoo dot com
A nightlight may be a better choice than a flashlight, in case the flashlight batteries go out on him. Also you don’t want him to accidentally get the batteries out and put them in his mouth.
You might have his eyes checked to make sure he doesn’t have a broken blood vessel in there called a floater that gets in his vision at times. Rarely do children ever gets these, but some do.
When the floater reaches certain parts of your visual field it looks like a black something is there but you can’t tell quite what it is.
(((HUGS))) I wish I had some advice but I honestly can’t ever remember going through a phase like this with my son. But like most things, he’ll likely grow out of it.
My childen haven’t been as upset as your Warren, and after reading everything you are doing – I really don’t have any other advice as you are doing everything I could think of. the only thing I have done also with my son is read books like Sesame Streets The Monster At The End of the Book, and Thomas Train There’s a Monster In My Shed and a little Golden Book called The Snoring Monster… that one is especially descriptive about imagining things that aren’t there and I highly recommend it. We have read each several times and he has not had any fears.
oh what a sin. I hope he’s ok. The pictures in this post are beautiful! If you weren’t far from the basement door the first time it happened maybe he saw your shadow walking around. and since he’ll be seeing his own shadow any where there are lights on that might be scaring him, and its not like he can get away from his own shadow. Show him the Disney Peter Pan movie and see if he relates to the shadow chasing scene which is in the beginning.
In your place, I would just ask my child to describe exactly what he sees. It might be some animal that has found shelter in your basement, or even your shadow, as you also say. Things that get children scared are kept in their imagination and come back again and again in situations during which they feel alone (and the night darkness is the most characteristic). What is crucial is to show him that there is nothing to be afraid of, to spend some time with him before he sleeps (reading him some story or doing with him sth that will help him get to sleep, give him a good cup of hot milk that will calm him just before he falls asleep). During the rest of the day, when he complains of sth he sees, then examining the place and telling him that there was nothing there, even inviting him to come and examine with you would be good.
Regards…
wow I wonder what it is? I guess kids can be afraid of the weirdest things.. I used to be afraid of a shadow in my closet too.. poor warren. This is an older post, I hope all is better now!:)